Talk like the locals in New Yawk, New Yuck


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city's phrase

Governor Como

    Gonna get impeached for murdering old people

SoHo Karen

    Someone who needs a beating

Dead Baby Capital of the World

    New York, New York

Alexandria Occasional Cow Fart

    Elected Congresswoman Alexandria Occasional Cowfart

The Big Crapple

    What we have after our football teams play

Little Brat

    Tom Cruise's daughter


    Local cigarettes sold individually for a dollar. Caution. The cops may choke you dead if you sell them.


    NFL Giant Henry 'The Hynocerous' Hynoski

The Happy Hippy

    NYC Psychologist

Derek Eater

    Some fat Yankee ballplayer


    Quarterback Dirty Sanchez fail occured when his guard's butt collided with his face

Let them drink 32 ounce sodas

    Mayor Gloombag's brilliant advice to the hurricane victims

Department of Perps and Recreation

    They hire a lot of convicks without no background check

The ground

    Tim Tebow's favorite target

We Love Chick-Fil-A

    Mayor Blumbag. Stick it. And there's nothing wrong with gay marriage. As long as the man is gay and the woman is gay...

Hotdog Hooker

    Clients include Anthony Weiner and Barney Franks


    Hot, secluded resort nestled between Queens and Brooklyn

A Cool, Cool, Paris Blog

    Click on picture below to visit Paris Breakfasts blog.

Haul Em

    Local pronunciation for Harlem


    Tebow's not even signed and it's going nuts.


    Goldman Saks clients. This is not a compliment.

Linsane, Linsational Linderella

    Knicks point guard Lin

Mista Kruga

    Poor character from Seinfeld who shot himself. Hope he's ok.


Buy at Amazon. Click above or below pictures


    How NYC administrators spell school on the sidewalk

RIP Epstein

    Up ya nose wida rubba hose


Shootin and beatin and peppa sprayin

    Black Friday New York Style

Bye Bye Occupy. Zuke Kooks.

    Get a shower and a job.

Zuccotti Lung

    What do you get hanging at Occupy Wall Street? Lung infections.

Oakland Riots

    Night of the Living Unemployed

Peppa Spray, weed and food

    Free stuff for you at Occupy Wallstreet

Set 'em free Feinman

    The world's worst judge. Almost as bad as Manhattan Judge "Turn 'Em Loose Bruce" Wright

Lying Lloyd Blankfiend

    Goldman Sachs bigwig gets all lawyered up over liar accusations.

We're all shook up


Sue York City

    Too many lawyers and lawsuits.

Ground Zero Payments

    If you got sick working on the towers, you ain't gettin any money. But the lawyers got paid. Shoot them all.


    What do you get when Jennifer Aniston rides Jon Stewart?

It's a beautiful day in the GAYBORHOOD

    We're all gay. Very, very gay. Extraordinarily gay. Steeped in gayness.

Weiner pulls out.

    So long Congressman Weinerboy.

Mayor Bloombag Update

    He acknowledges enjoying smoking weed, but has every brotha arrested for doing the same. Dick.

Canz versus Hooters

    Battle of the Breastes's at the Breast-aurants. Everybody wins.

Congressman Weinerboy

    Could he be the next Mayor Crotch??? Will Weiner rise to the occasion as information continues to trickle out of Weiner?

Talk Like the Locals in Paris, France

A ridiculously simple-minded, yet helpful way to learn French.

Perp Walk

    What Mayor Bloombag made that French rapist do.


    Lady GaGa

You Mecca Me Hot

    Muslim, gay bar to be opened next to 911 Ground Zero Mosque.

Cobra Tweet

    Stupid twitter account for a cobra that escaped from the zoo.

Tree Fitty Tree

    The price of gaz fitty cent ago.

Us Jews find the Irish to be a buncha drunks

    Signed, Mayor Bloomberg

No Supe for You!

    The Jets are actually a likeable team and will be back. Just stop bringing up Rex's weird fetishes.

Miracle in the Meadowlands Part 2

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Giants Stink

Merry Cliffmas

    Cliff Lee never wanted to come to this dump anyways.

Out Coached. Out QB'd. Out Classed

    Putrid Gang Green effort by the Jets. The Rexecution was lame.

Don't Touch My Junk

    Say no to porno scanners @ the airport

Revis Island

    Nickname of Jets cornerback Darrelle Revis

Giants Stink

    Arf arf. They did a month ago.

Jeter the Cheater

    He is just dawg crap

Ig Bapple

    New moniker for us?

Obama's Mosque

    Just move it a mile away from Ground Zero and nobody will care. Is the pres-o-dent such an elitist idiot that he can't imagine what an insult this is?

I hate New York

    Love Lady Gaga. Where are her boobs?

Blow-han Santana

    Mets pitcher who is owned by the Philadelphia Phillies

Whachoo lookin at?

Thinking of getting hdtv cable or satellite or a dish network antenna at Best Buy? Fuhgetta 'bout it. Get dish network sat tv with the premium dish network hd channel lineup you'll love!

New Yuck Giants

Only in New York

When you see the street sign to the right, the hand means stop and the man outline means walk, in every single language in the world. But many signs in New York are malfunctioning so you get both at once. What this means is, if you cross the street with both lit at once,

Attention Walmort Shoppers

    White people. Please leave the store.

Welcome to the Jets, L.T.!!!!

    We are going to the Supe


    Like a tampon, only more expensive

Jewish Bomber

    So he strapped some teflon to his head and everybody thought he was a terrorist who was going to down the plane.

Salt Kills

    STFU Mayor Bloombag. Let the restaurants do what they want and people won't go if it's bad. They don't need your nanny laws. Dick


    Suburb of Brooklyn

Body Parts

    What our rabbis got caught selling recently. Nothing serious. Only trafficking of kidneys from Israeli donors. And were they kosher?

A-Roid or A-Fraud

    I can't decide which better describes the New York Junkies steroid abuser, Alex Rodriguez so here are the 2 best. All the New York teams have really accomplished lately is bending over and losing to the Philadelphia teams. Except for the World Series.

The PlaxiCurse

    Ding, dong, the Giants are dead. 2 home losses to the Fluffya Iggles. Had Plaxico's penis not turned off the safety on his glock, the Giants woulda been on there way to another Supe. No mo dawg!

Jail Madoff

    Tough being the most hated man in NYC. No bail for you. Dag, he even f'ed his own sister.

Glocksico Burress

    Genius New York Giants wide receiver who shot hiself, had teammate Antonio Pierce hide the gun all while not possessing no permit and shit. Plex-a-Piece, Plex "Hitman" Burress and Plexiglasshole are runner ups. Now accepting all entries...


    You witnessed the 2nd annual August collapse of the Mets

Broadway Brett Fart

    New Jet's QB Brett Fart. For all the hype, he really blows.

Fugly & Guilty of supplying Oxycontin to Heath Ledger

    Mary Kate Olsen. "I didn't do anything, but I want immunity from prosecution." IDIOT


    What the Mets fans are according to new Mets skipper Jerry Manuel


    What the Mets are inflicted with.

    My Entire Team Sucks

The Governor has pulled out

    You horny dawg, you, Elliot. I thought his chick was kinda lame expecially for all the commotion

A Freakin' Dolla

      How much bagels cost these days in da Bronze

Lap Dance Express

      The renamed L Train. Nothing wrong with a bunch of pole-ite ladies giving free lap dances in a steamy train.

A Vegetable Plagiarist



    Recently dropped over Yank's Alex Rodriguez's departure

Dogfighting is a sport

    Certainly a fact since it was spoken by Knicks guard Stephon Marbury

R.I.P. Queen of Mean

    Leona Helmsley died

My Entire Team Sucks

    Not the Yankees... And later, Randy Johnson, miserable prick.

Shut the F*&^*ck Up!

    Barbara Streisand's comeback to a heckler at Madison Square Garden

Dial 311

    It's the perfect way to find out Oprah Winfrey's phone # or who won American Idol or Is Ray Charles really Stevie Wonder's uncle?

Dopey & ANT Knee

    Replacement DJ's for David Lee Roth who replaced Howard Stern. They cannot be worser than Roth.

Illegal immigrants

    According to Mayor Bloomberg, we need them to take care of our golf courses, so don't deport them, por favor.

Teen Queen/Coked out whore, fire crotch.

    Lindsay Lohan. Tell slanguage not to call you that and it becomes a headline.

Hair's Johnny

    Shave and a haircut, whodat Mister Damon?

Rat School

    Where all the NYC gubmint workers go to learn about our local vermin. Your tax dollars hawd at woik.

Pennington's Out

    Testicle Squirty's in. Go Vinnie the Pooh...


    NYC Billionaire Mayor Mike Bloomberg's home phone. Give him a call. Maybe he'll loan you some money...

Olive Earl

    Partner of Popeye

The Big Snapple

    Our new nickname courtesy of our new sponsor. I'd rather see "Big Snapper." No comment.

Saturday Nite Lie

    Ashlee Simpson pulls a Nilli Vanilli on live TV and gets caught lip synching. Only thing bigger than the lie is her nose...

    Here are the liar's excuses (and her dad's too) (Voting disabled)

    • The band screwed up
    • Technical difficulties
    • Acid reflux
    • "Oh yeah. I do use voice overs"

Let's Stay Together

    What Al Green sang at the Apollo with his fly down. Compounding the problem was the fact that "Big" Al doesn't wear any underwear.

3 Hunjy Thousand Dollars

    What you'll pay for living below Lenny Kravitz's condo when his terlit overflows into yours. Eating a lot of Mexican food or what Lenbo?

"Go ahead and throw away the evidence"

    What the New York Dept of Health tells you after you find a condom in yer bagel.

Who's yer daddy, New Yawkas?

    The Boston Redsox, Jackolantern!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    How Martha Stewart describes her local cellmates...


    Mary Kate Olsen's greeting to her young fans. To quote Joe Dirt, "Dag, she's mean."

97 cats, seven dogs, several reptiles and a sea gull living with four young children and their mother.

    A typical Yonkers household?


    Come on Dan Rather. Either admit your documents about Bush's war service are a lie or cough up your sources. Book em Danno.


    Leaks out of your tuna sandwich

Pizza Paula

    Everyone outside of Brooklyn says "Pizza Parlor"

New Queen of Mean

    Move over Leonna, and let Rosi O'Donnell take over. Even Leonna wouldn't say "If you lie, you'll get cancer and die."


    NFL Giant player. Detested everywhere but here.

How Awe Ya?

    Typical greeting


    Down under Manhattan Bridge Overpass
    (artists community near Brooklyn)


    NYC subway riders

Go to Jersey

    An insult

Da Gawdfadda

    Someone you respect and do not cross

Cruise da duce

    Ride on 42nd street

Good Sense a Yuma

    A good sense of humor

Turdy Turdin' Lex

    33rd street and Lexington Avenue

Whadaya Whadaya?

    I am dumbfounded by your audacity

Washda Closendaws

    Warning heard on the subways

Poppy Wit a Shmear

    Poppy-seed bagel with cream cheese

Less Order a Pie

    I would like to order a pizza


    Brooklyn Queens Expressway

L Eye E

    Long Island Expressway


    Water between Manhattan and Brooklyn


    Opposite of him (Heard on "My Cousin Vinny"

New Yawk

    Where we be at

Long GUY Len

    Long Island

Terl It


Chalk Lit

    Opposite of vanilla

Surfing the Tunnel

    Bumpy ride on number 4 express


    Most say taco


    Mixed with vinegar on salads

Yonkiz and Yonkuz

    People from Yonkers


    Not my son

Egg Cream

    Seltzer, milk and chocolate

Cawna Fish Treet

    At the corner of fifth street


    Someone you don't like

Hawt Dawg Awe da Way

    Hotdog with chili, onions & mustard

Da Bronze

    Only NYC borough that begins with a "D"


    Most call her Brenda


People who ticket your car

Woke Up Smellin' Like Jersey

What Belushi used to say when he woke up with a BAD hangover

Stat Nigh Lynn

    Staten Island

Oner Niner

    Take the 1-9 train downtown


    Put Ice cream in it

Doily Boyd

    Catches the worm

Pawta Crappa

    Outside convenience toilets

NoHo or SoHo

    Areas north or south of Houston street

Mob'll Roy

    Type of bread (marble rye)

Dah Boat a Yews

    The both of you


    Sub sandwich to most (Hoagie in Philly)

Toy Teen

    One less than fourteen

Cawfee Regula

    Coffee with milk, no sugar?


    Married your fodder



Free iPad App


Fun Spanish is a breakthrough for learning Spanish

Find your phrase in the left column. Say the fun phrase in the middle column with emphasis on the RED word or object. That's all there is to directions for Fun Spanish. Crank up your computer's volume to really enjoy the sound bytes. Links to more phrases below.

Click here to order Fun Spanish with your credit card with Paypal on Ebay. Free Shipping to U.S.

Old Spanish
(difficult, boring, impossible)
(easy to learn, cool, fun)
Como va?
(How's it going)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Bien y tu?
(Fine and yourself?)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Con gusto
(With pleasure)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

(good or nice)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Yo quiero...
(I want)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
(He or she wants)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
(We want)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Yo te quiero
(I love you)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Very beautiful
(muy bello)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

Fun Spanish nouns & verbs A-F | Fun Spanish nouns & verbs G - L
Fun Spanish nouns & verbs M - Q | Fun Spanish nouns & verbs R - Z


Scroll down to print out a mail order form to buy Fun Spanish with a check or money order.

Click here to order Fun Spanish with your credit card with Paypal

Win a FREE Fun Spanish Book. Click Here

Need a Spanish phrase translated into Fun Spanish? Email it to the author. Click here.

Below is a 2-page spread from my book. Here are the directions. Note how much easier these directions are compared to any of the thousands of Spanish learning guides out there. (1) Find what you want to say on the left page. (2) Follow the arrow to the right page (3) Say the Fun Spanish phrase quickly with emphasis on the starburst word or image (4) The Spanish follows. (5) Learn to string together numerous phrases which will make you sound very competent. (6) Draw your own pictures to help with memorizing and pronounciation. Fun Spanish works because it's just English and you CAN'T make a mistake!! Don't ever waste your money on a Berlitz or Inlingua product again.

Here are 2 pages from my book. There's lots more information below!

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My book is divided into 5 chapters: Greetings, Helpful Phrases, At the Restaurant, Questions and a Fun Puzzle. Fun Spanish is 5 1/2 inches by 8 1/2 inches, 24 pages with large, easy-to-read type, plenty of art and perfect for a trip or a lesson for students. You'll love teaching children with Fun Spanish. All ages love it. There's also a Fun Spanish puzzle in the back that you can play with friends or on a flight.

Hopefully, you can see how fun and easy learning Spanish is with Fun Spanish. Your friends, teachers, students and fellow travelers will be very impressed with your newly-found knowledge. Don't ever let anyone tell you that learning Spanish is hard, difficult or boring. With Fun Spanish, it's easy and fun. Gloria Cudia, from Rockford Park, IL, purchased Fun Spanish for The United Way and loves it for work and her grandchildren. "It's muy fun," she tells us. Thank you for your enthusiasm Gloria.

Here are the phrases you'll learn in my book:
How's it going? • Fine and yourself? • Fine • With pleasure • My pleasure • Welcome • Good or nice • Yes • I must... • What do you say? • Not much, yourself? • What's new? • The good one • In a moment • A little bit • With me? • Can we?.. • Yes/No • That's great • Beautiful • Handsome • Happy • I know/I don't know • Comfortable • My friends • Where do you live? • Here? • Not here? • I'm drinking it • Also? With you? • As if... • I'd like... • Do you have?... • Delicious • I'm enjoying it • With cheese • Some water • With lemon • Drinks • Bacon • Chicken • Duck • Octopus • Sweet potato • Wine • I'm thirsty • Shrimp • Tuna • Asparagus • Pepper • Spinach • Who? • What? • Is it? • Are there? • Where? • How do you say? • How? • I don't know how. Remember you can combine or alter these phrases to create hundreds, if not thousands of new phrases.

There is no better product for learning Fun Spanish. I'm the only person in the world who replaces Spanish with English words. Replacing Spanish with English is a logical, easy and fun way to learn Spanish. Other methods use boring, endless lists of indirect object pronouns and intransitive verbs. Have you tried Berlitz, Inlingua, Rosetta Stone or any of the other methods? They're all the same - a waste of your money. Until now, there was no alternative. Now you have one in Fun Spanish.

Hopefully, I've convinced you how easy Fun Spanish really is. I think it's a shame that we've been brainwashed into thinking it's difficult. Try Fun Spanish. It will change your life. And for only $4.99 plus free shipping, you'll find it a bargain. And remember my motto, If you can speak English, you can speak Fun Spanish!!! I have plans for other fun languages too like Fun Japanese and Fun Italian. Please stop back often for updates and mention my new book to your friends.

Print this form to purchase Fun Spanish by mail order:



Fun Spanish Booklet ($4.99 Each)
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Mike Ellis,





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Here's a picture of my daughter enjoying Fun Spanish. She's been speaking phrases in numerous languages since she was 2 years old (she's now 10) with the help of my fun method. I'd like to see every child enjoy and excel at languages like mine does.

There are 2 ways to order Fun Spanish. If you don't mind wasting toner cartridges or ink cartridges, print this page for mail order or click on the link below for credit card orders

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Thank you.


Mike Ellis
Fun French, Fun Spanish, Fun Italian, Fun Japanese & others

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