Talk like the locals in San Francisco, Mexifornia


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San Feces Co.

    Come for the free feces and needles all over our sidewalks. Stay for the dollar grocery bags.

40 Whiners

    The few football fans that show up to cheer on Martin Luther Kaepernick

San Fran Sicko

    Our new, not-so-flattering nickname.


    Our quarterback. Just shut your mouth or quit.


    All this drama over skinny, bendable iphones

Field of Jeans

    Our baseball field

Captain Sum Ting Wong, Ho Lee Fuk and Wi 2 Lo

    Asiana flight pirots

3 P's

    San Fran Giants outfield


Buy at Amazon. Click above or below pictures

Do you know the way to San Jowackyweed?

    Remake of popular song from the 60's

Governor Brown Star/Nose

    Take your pick


    Crap Map App on iphone5


    Facebook and losers. Poifect together.


We Love Chick Fil-A

    Stick it and eat it whoever our mayor is.

F@#uck the Raiders

    Genius shirt to wear to an NFL football game if you wanna get yourself killed.



    Any idiotic, liberal-elitist, retarded parent who doesn't want their son circumsized can take credit for their son smelling like smegma and always getting vd. You'll never get grandkids that way.

The Sperminator

    Our Governor. Rumor is he's hornier than Tiger. We'll see...

Don't Touch My Junk

    Say no to porno scanners @ the airport

Queen Meg, EMeg & Nutmeg

    Some wealthy ebay chick running for governor

Gay Marriage

    Nothing wrong with it. As long as the man is gay & the woman is gay...

Attention Walmort Shoppers

    White people. Please leave the store.

High-quality, nutrient-rich, organic bio-solids compost

    Our city department supplies this free for your gardens. It's actually people poop.

CarlyFiorina Dreaming

    Retarded, Republican running for U.S. Senate. Disturbingly fond of sheep.

They don't have a father around to tell them, 'Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life,' 'Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, you idiot.'

    Radio DJ Mike Savage's description of autistic children because autisim is a fraud and a racket run by incompetent parents. Ouch.


    Like a tampon, only more expensive

Ride Tiger's Wood

    Coming soon to a movie theatre near you

Barry Bond's SLANGUAGE (overheard at ballparks & everywhere)

    - Barr-Roids
    - Bonds 1st in Hall of Shame
    - Cheaters Never Prosper
    - No Confess, No Hall of Fame
    - Bonds Greatest Cheater of the Era
    - Huge Head, Tiny Bat, Tiny Balls

Double Rock

    Dangerous area of our otherwise beautiful city. Even the Muni Buses won't go there.

Porn, lesbians and profanity

    Basic topics covered in the Niners training video. Rock on.

da Sco

    Our most preferred nickname

1,000 yard stare

    What local cops see you doing after you drink 20 cups of kava tea and swerve all over the road. Doh...


    Do this in your car & our Nazi cops may give you a ticket...

The Monster

    What was 3COM which was The Stick is now this? Dunno what's scarier, the new name or our old football team's performance...

Rosie's getting married here

    To a girl. Hold yer nose.

The Giros

    Nickname for the Giants

The Peninsula

    Any town south of South City on west side

San Fantastico, Saint Freakshow

    What people from San Francisco might call our city

The City

    What people from San Francisco do call our city

Bagdad by the Bay

    Another San Francisco nickname

Hella Sketchy

    Really weird or scary

So Ma

    South of Market Street

Diggedy Dank

    Really good

Person of No Account

    Person with no e-mail account

The Rock


The Gate

    Golden Gate Bridge

Red and White

    Ferries over to Valejo

The Wine Country

    Mission Street between 5th & 8th, hangout for winos

The Mish

    The Mission District


    Refers to the east bay's 510 area code


    Hello sir

Multimedia Gulch

    Area south of market street rejuvenated by multimedia companies



The Castro

    Famous gay neighborhood

The A.C. Kicked In

    The fog rolled in

Fisherman's Wharf

    Tourists, not locals, found here


    Our beloved football team

Talk Like the Locals in Paris, France


South City

    South San Francisco

Out East



    Basic Marin Wheels



Free iPad App


Fun Spanish is a breakthrough for learning Spanish

Find your phrase in the left column. Say the fun phrase in the middle column with emphasis on the RED word or object. That's all there is to directions for Fun Spanish. Crank up your computer's volume to really enjoy the sound bytes. Links to more phrases below.

Click here to order Fun Spanish with your credit card with Paypal on Ebay. Free Shipping to U.S.

Old Spanish
(difficult, boring, impossible)
(easy to learn, cool, fun)
Como va?
(How's it going)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Bien y tu?
(Fine and yourself?)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Con gusto
(With pleasure)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

(good or nice)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Yo quiero...
(I want)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
(He or she wants)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
(We want)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Yo te quiero
(I love you)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte
Very beautiful
(muy bello)

< - - - - Click here to hear the sound byte

Fun Spanish nouns & verbs A-F | Fun Spanish nouns & verbs G - L
Fun Spanish nouns & verbs M - Q | Fun Spanish nouns & verbs R - Z


Scroll down to print out a mail order form to buy Fun Spanish with a check or money order.

Click here to order Fun Spanish with your credit card with Paypal

Win a FREE Fun Spanish Book. Click Here

Need a Spanish phrase translated into Fun Spanish? Email it to the author. Click here.

Below is a 2-page spread from my book. Here are the directions. Note how much easier these directions are compared to any of the thousands of Spanish learning guides out there. (1) Find what you want to say on the left page. (2) Follow the arrow to the right page (3) Say the Fun Spanish phrase quickly with emphasis on the starburst word or image (4) The Spanish follows. (5) Learn to string together numerous phrases which will make you sound very competent. (6) Draw your own pictures to help with memorizing and pronounciation. Fun Spanish works because it's just English and you CAN'T make a mistake!! Don't ever waste your money on a Berlitz or Inlingua product again.

Here are 2 pages from my book. There's lots more information below!

Here's what people are saying about Fun Spanish:

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  • Instant Spanish for Brits (young & old) who are newcomers to Spain.

My book is divided into 5 chapters: Greetings, Helpful Phrases, At the Restaurant, Questions and a Fun Puzzle. Fun Spanish is 5 1/2 inches by 8 1/2 inches, 24 pages with large, easy-to-read type, plenty of art and perfect for a trip or a lesson for students. You'll love teaching children with Fun Spanish. All ages love it. There's also a Fun Spanish puzzle in the back that you can play with friends or on a flight.

Hopefully, you can see how fun and easy learning Spanish is with Fun Spanish. Your friends, teachers, students and fellow travelers will be very impressed with your newly-found knowledge. Don't ever let anyone tell you that learning Spanish is hard, difficult or boring. With Fun Spanish, it's easy and fun. Gloria Cudia, from Rockford Park, IL, purchased Fun Spanish for The United Way and loves it for work and her grandchildren. "It's muy fun," she tells us. Thank you for your enthusiasm Gloria.

Here are the phrases you'll learn in my book:
How's it going? • Fine and yourself? • Fine • With pleasure • My pleasure • Welcome • Good or nice • Yes • I must... • What do you say? • Not much, yourself? • What's new? • The good one • In a moment • A little bit • With me? • Can we?.. • Yes/No • That's great • Beautiful • Handsome • Happy • I know/I don't know • Comfortable • My friends • Where do you live? • Here? • Not here? • I'm drinking it • Also? With you? • As if... • I'd like... • Do you have?... • Delicious • I'm enjoying it • With cheese • Some water • With lemon • Drinks • Bacon • Chicken • Duck • Octopus • Sweet potato • Wine • I'm thirsty • Shrimp • Tuna • Asparagus • Pepper • Spinach • Who? • What? • Is it? • Are there? • Where? • How do you say? • How? • I don't know how. Remember you can combine or alter these phrases to create hundreds, if not thousands of new phrases.

There is no better product for learning Fun Spanish. I'm the only person in the world who replaces Spanish with English words. Replacing Spanish with English is a logical, easy and fun way to learn Spanish. Other methods use boring, endless lists of indirect object pronouns and intransitive verbs. Have you tried Berlitz, Inlingua, Rosetta Stone or any of the other methods? They're all the same - a waste of your money. Until now, there was no alternative. Now you have one in Fun Spanish.

Hopefully, I've convinced you how easy Fun Spanish really is. I think it's a shame that we've been brainwashed into thinking it's difficult. Try Fun Spanish. It will change your life. And for only $4.99 plus free shipping, you'll find it a bargain. And remember my motto, If you can speak English, you can speak Fun Spanish!!! I have plans for other fun languages too like Fun Japanese and Fun Italian. Please stop back often for updates and mention my new book to your friends.

Print this form to purchase Fun Spanish by mail order:



Fun Spanish Booklet ($4.99 Each)
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Postage to Canada and Mexico $2.00 per book

Postage to rest of world $4.00 per book






10 books - $40 (Includes Free Delivery to U.S.)
Save $10!

20 books - $60 (Includes Free Delivery to U.S.)
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Email or call with larger orders
Mike Ellis,





PA residents add 6% sales tax





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1504 Briarwood Court • Phoenixville, PA 19460 USA
(610) 917-0587

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Here's a picture of my daughter enjoying Fun Spanish. She's been speaking phrases in numerous languages since she was 2 years old (she's now 10) with the help of my fun method. I'd like to see every child enjoy and excel at languages like mine does.

There are 2 ways to order Fun Spanish. Print this page for mail order or click on the link below for credit card orders:

Click here to order Fun Spanish with your credit card with Paypal on Ebay. Free Shipping to U.S.

Thank you.


Mike Ellis
Fun French, Fun Spanish, Fun Italian, Fun Japanese & others

To email the author, click here

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