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Philadelphia
S L A N G U A G E
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B
L U M M Y ' S XB L O G |
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A
weekend without a meaningful football game is
hard to swallow.
I have been more into the
NFL this year than probably any season I can
remember - gambling and fantasy will do that
to you. So I almost feel compelled to make a
pick on the pro bowl. More on that later. First,
some more random thoughts:Today on sports radio
they were talking about their hate list, I didn't
hear them say anyone in particular, so I started
to think about mine. I have a current list and
an all time list. I will start with my all time
top 5:
1) Larry Bird I grew up a die hard Sixers
fan and I canít tell you how many times
he broke my heart. One of my all time favorite
moments in sports is when Doc popped Larry Legend
in the face several times. It was awesome. A
friend used to have a picture of it on the wall
in his in his apartment.
2) Patrick Ewing I don't mean this as
a racial slur, but he looks like an ape. Really.
I remember in game 7 of the eastern conference
finals, I think it was 94, when they were about
to win and he does this elongated, slow fist
pump, with this angry face, and I thought he
looked like a pure idiot. Made me hate him even
more. Seeing them lose, with Starks going 1-19,
was AWESOME! Starks might have made my list
if he was truly relevant outside of 2-3 years.
3) Keyshawn Johnson The guy who talked
the most and backed up the least I can ever
remember. I remember him ripping Wayne Chrebet
after he left the Jets, called him "the
flashlight" to Keyshawn's "Star"
and then Chrebet caught a game wining TD against
TB. I loved that!
4) Jeff Bagwell Juice! I hated him before
Juice became so common, though it was so obvious.
He had that stupid goatee and always looked
dumbfounded.
5) Danny Ainge Another Celtic, who was
definitely the source of much hatred as a kid.
He was a loud mouth, annoying, antagonistic
and a guy you would love to have on your team.
Another great moment from childhood - Sedale
Threatt ROCKING Ainge with a punch to the face.
What a great memory. Honorable mention: Stephon
Marbury, Karl Malone, Mookie Wilson, Joe Theisman
My current list:
1) A-Rod Do I need to expand on that?
2) Tom Brady I actually didn't hate
him during their run. I started hating him this
year, I believed in him and he let me down over
and over.
3) Brett Favre The fake limp, the back
and forth on retiring, the feuds with his coach.
I am so sick of this guy.
4) Joakim Noah Dating back to when Florida
won their second title and he said something
like "none of y'all understand this, but
we going hard tonight." He's probably not
good enough of a player to make this list, but
I just hate him
5) Johnny Damon He killed this Phillies.
Before that, I had no issue with him. Honorable
mention: Randy Moss, Raja Bell, Tim Tebow, Rajan
Rondo, Jose Reyes
My single biggest pet peeve is when
people (mostly women) aren't ready to pay at
a convenience store or gas station. Weíve
all been there. We're in a hit of a hurry, there
are 4-5 people in front of us in line and some
person has 3-4 things to buy. They all get scanned
and put in the bag, the clerk says, "that'll
be $8.50" and then they finally decide
to pick up their bag, open it up, take out their
wallet, fish out eight $1 bills, then open the
change purse to find 5 dimes. They couldn't
have at least gotten their money ready. WHAT
THE F?? Then, even if they don't get change,
they have to close their wallet, put it back
in their bag, close their bag, pick up what
they bought and walk out. It drives me nuts.
I love the drive throughs that have "please
have your money ready." It's for these
idiots that can't figure that out for themselves
Seems like now is the time that everyone
is looking at college basketball. There
might as well not be an NBA season in Philly.
I have always been a college hoop-head. I love
the tournament and I just love all the games.
I think Kansas is the class of the country this
year, I got to see them play at temple in person,
and they are impressive. But, the biggest treat
I got all year so far was watching Kentucky-South
Carolina this week. I was excited to watch John
Wall, DeMarcus Cousins and Patrick Patterson
for the 3rd or 4th time this year. (I really,
REALLY want to see Wall in a Sixers uniform,
but not counting on it.) But the biggest treat
was seeing South Carolina's Devon Downey. He's
5-9, but was able to get a shot off anytime,
anywhere. The most exciting player I have seen
all year. I highly recommend watching South
Carolina if you can.
Finally, my pick of the week. Everyone
I have told I am thinking about betting on the
Pro Bowl tells me I am crazy. But the over/under
is 57. Too easy? Some stats: The last 10 years,
average total is 67.4. The last 5 years, average
total is 59.4. Last 3 years, average total is
60.7. In the last 10 years, there have only
been 2 games under 57, 2009 and 2006. I looked
at both sides. The pros - lots of points; history
on the side of the over. The cons - if the average
score is over 60, why 3 points under the last
3 years? No Brees, no Manning; First time in
Miami and not Hawaii (more partying on Sat night
before the game); First time not after superbowl.
But the official pro bowl pick: Over 57. I like
it. I am still seriously considering putting
my own money on it. Iím trying to make
it meaningful. Go NFC!
Previous
random thoughts, click here
Email
Blummy, click here
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 NOVA'S #2!
They're totally due for an NCAA Championship. Only 25 years since their last one
RIP
Brookey
Eagles icon Tom Brooksheir, off to heaven.
I had the pleasure of meeting him years ago while waiting
tables at a nice restaurant called L'Auberge in Strafford,
PA. He was one of the few celebrities I've ever met who
actually made you feel like he was pleased to meet you.
iPAD
Like a tampon, only more expensive
Jewish Teflon Bomber
So he strapped some teflon to his head and everybody thought he was a terrorist who was going to bring down the plane.
0 (as in zero)
Dumbovan's number in Oakland next year
Liar Liar Mark McGwire
Just admit your entire baseball career was a scam and we'll leave you alone
I
woke up today and didn't kill a dog. Can I get an award like Michael
Vick?
Spendell
Our governor. We're doomed.
Ride
Tiger's Wood
Coming soon to a movie theatre near you
A.I.'s Back!!!!!!!!!!!
Port Kenzo
Resort town snuggled between Kensington and
Port Richmond
Neast
Northeast Philadelphia. But is Neast more awesome
than Sail Fluffya?
Dumbovan
Local, Blind Lawyer Robbed by Prostitute
The Ax Man Returneth
The Big Piece
Hide Your Beagle
Sponsored
by PETA (Philadelphia
Eagles Touchdown Association)
Welcome Peedro
PHILLY
TACO
RIP
Harry and P-Zez
Lurie
"Mack
Daddy" Goode and "Hoochie Momma" Bryant
Local politicians that, when criticized, cry
racist and KKK. So they got caught drinking, partying and falsifying
time cards on city payroll time. Our local dopes will re-elect
them.
Cause
Westbrook was his fantasy pick
Romo
is a Homo
MVP
and Rookie of the Year
Flyin'
Hawaiian
Phil's centerfielder Shane Victorino. Awesome,
speedy player.
BALLS
What the Phillies had blessed before their
first game of 2008. Too bad they lost anyways. Shoulda blessed
all their parts, not just the sacks...
Cop
Puncha
Ex-CBS Newscaster Alycia Lane fired up a NYC
Cop's face. And don't call people dykes, even if they are. Yer
fired. But she's back with a lawsuit. She's looking more and
more beat
Killadelphia
RIP Andre Dirty Wooders
Arguably, the greatest slanguage nickname
in history. Sad he's no longer with us.
Little
Poppy
Phil's young slugger Ryan Howard. Aptly named
after oldhead slugger in Boston, David "Big Poppy"
Ortiz.
Mama's
Boy
Super
Hero/Legend
Phillies outfielder, Aaron Rowand, who broke
his nose on the outfield fence for his team and fans. Maybe
it's contagious, Pat Burrell? Nah. So they traded him. Duh.
BLACK
on BLACK Crime
Prevalent only in the Fluffya Iggles organization,
targeted at Dummyvan McNabb. Never occurs @ 10th & Diamond
in Nor Philly. Yeah right...
Lil'
Rat
Eagle's nickname for their hope for the future,
Ryan Moats. Fast little dude. Beat, he left.
Smokin'
Joe
Jump
Ricky Jump
Philadelphia
Eagles Ambassador
 Bonnie
and Clyde
A pair of local idiots who got caught stealing
identities and spending stolen money. 15 minutes of fame and
they're going down. She is kinda hot in a dirty, fake booby,
clean-shaven kinda way---->
Rita
Skid
Mork
Local pronunciation of little poopy stains in
your underwear. Most common on grown boys and adolescent men.
Watch for pebbles on the rug too.
Barry's
 "I
wasn't the guy who got tired in the Super Bowl."
Quote by T.O. implying Donovan McNabb ran out
of gas in the Supe. Maybe correct and maybe we need a new slogan:
"T.O., T.O., I think he's gotta go..."
The
Cos
Local icon/commedian/hero, Bill Cosby. Mr. C
would never bug anybody so let's just leave him alone. Hey hey
hey...
Random
Philly Crap
The
Foul Towel
Many here say "Fail Tail." What will
forever be known as T.O.'s Monday Nite Football intro with the
naked, Caucasian (gasp) chick. Get it on.
Dish
Wind'll
$100
Cheesesteak Wit?
Draino
How we begin many sentences here. For example,
"Draino way the Iggles ain't goin' to the Super Bowl."
7
Hunjy Fitty
Morty's
Core
F%#@ckin'
A
Filthy
Dumpya
Iggles Fans
Can Party
Stinkin'
Lincoln
Smack-a-me
Formerly the ack-a-me, formerly the acme. Where
many of us shop for food
Shhhhhtreet
Philly
Funics
The world's only book that teaches you how to
speak Philadelphian, just like Rocky! Perfect gift for wedding
guests.
Click here for more info.
Vails
A, E, I, O, U and sometimes Y
Schuylkill
Punch
Yummy wooder that we drink
 Click
on the Philly Funics spreads below to order them on ebay. Free
Shipping to U.S.
Yunkers
That's me and Frankie at Pat's with our new sign.
Philly
Funics, the world's only how-to-speak-Philly
book is for sale at Pat's too (215) 468-1546.
Donna
Dad Vail
Fluffya
Freedom
Our favorite song by Elton John
Smoke
on a Wooder
Our other favorite song
Thirsty
Segal
Those birds we see downashore
Del
Val
Extended Fluffya vicinity of surrounding suburbs
Meetcha
At Da Iggle
Traditional meeting place at Wanamakers
Beg'll
Jewish bread usually eaten at breakfast
Horry
Opp
Fly
Like an Iggle
Philadelphia's preferred song by Steve Miller
Fluffya,
Fill Uff Ya
2 other ways to pronounce Philadelphia
Ack
a Me
Mayan
and Urine
Arthur-ritis
Crown
Widges
Philly
Lean
Proper posture to eat a cheesesteak and keep your
clothes clean
Sum
Eye Giss, Sum Eye Gatt
Something like this, something like that
Pie
Zahn
Tellypole
Wire
Place where you throw your old sneakers
School
Kill
Colbert
Sure
Kill Distressway
Exciting road into our beauty full city
Marinades
Wooder
Eyes
Italian ice or snow cone to most
Cheesesteaks
& Hoagies
Wooder
Downashore
Beauty
Full
Sailth
Shtreet
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Old
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boring, impossible)
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FUN
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Como va?
(How's it going)
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Bien y
tu?
(Fine and yourself?)
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Con gusto
(With pleasure)
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Contento
(happy)
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Yo quiero...
(I want)
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Gustoso
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Quisiera
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Queremos
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Yo te
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(I love you)
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Very beautiful
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